so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Randomize
