I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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