Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
