I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
