We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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