Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
