awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
