ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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