so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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