Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
