Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
