I showed him my bush... on skype.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
