We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I forget how to act sober
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