worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
