Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
This is my gift to your gina
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I have tasted many bathrooms
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
