guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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