Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
