you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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