Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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