When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
