by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
