i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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