Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
