It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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