Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
