How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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