Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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