Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
