smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
