try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize