i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
