So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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