The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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