He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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