So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Randomize
