I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Randomize
