But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
