That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
