so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize