u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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