I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
