it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
