i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
