he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
