I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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