I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
