I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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