[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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