Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
