do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
