I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
