remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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