oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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