probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
