this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
