can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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