I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
