So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Randomize
