I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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