he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Randomize
