I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
