So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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