During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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