I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
